Lost Along the Way
by Avalon Brendon
Summary: There were times when her eyes would fall on a point and they would become distant, as if she was trying to grasp onto one of the millions of the thoughts running around in her head. For a moment, her face would fall once she finally gripped onto one, but then she would realize that I was there, and that same fake smile would light up her face again. A smile I once wore so proudly.
1. Before the Story

So, this is AU, and I wanted to write the information in a different chapter than the rest of the story. Also, in this, Brittany is not as clueless as she is in the show :3

Title: Lost Along the Way

Summary: One month after the death of her mother, Santana Lopez learns that she must move to California to live with her aunt, as her father is going to a rehabilitation center due to his 'drinking problem'. Getting away from everything bad does not seem as horrible to Santana as it would have to someone else. She hardly had anything in Lima, save about three friends who always insisted on stabbing her in the back when necessary. So, Santana does not mind the change. However, she knows how difficult it will be to get her life together in some foreign state while dealing with the recent death of someone so close to her.

Brittany Pierce is just a stereotypical blonde cheerleader. She hardly ever has a thought in her head, and when she does, it usually never makes any sense, whatsoever. What people do not know is the truth, though. One truth that she has been hiding for most of her life. That smile she has is broken, so broken and half-hearted that she is surprised no one has ever noticed it. Or perhaps it is because they do not want to notice. She is always that one person who can brighten your mood with all of the random stuff she says. To admit that she is struggling would be like getting rid of a ray of sunshine in your world. One less thing to bright and warm up your day.

When the two of them meet by chance three days before the start of the school year, will they be able to make an impact on each others' lives? And even if they do, will it be worth it?

Pairings: Santana/Brittany, Rachel/Finn, Mike/Tina, Quinn/Puck

Rating: T for now, maybe M for later chapters

WARNING: Self-harm, alcohol, drugs, and other crazy shit like that.


	2. The Prologue: Care

**Santana**

_Don't cry, Santana. Not now. Not in front of so many people._

It was one of the few thoughts running around in my mind as I stood in place next to my father. The priest spoke, but none of the words registered in my head. I could barely hear anything that was coming out loud, yet I was able to focus on the smallest of sounds, such as my father's watch. _Tick, tick, tick. _Small sounds, something I would not have been able to hear at any other time. Perhaps it was because I was focusing more on the silence, or at least trying to find it.

_Tick, tick, tick._

That stupid, annoying watch. It was too loud in my ears, and I wanted it to stop.

Tears pricked my eyes and I blinked them away, not ready to give myself to the sadness just yet. I had hoped that I would have been able to wait until I at least got home before I broke down. A part of me wanted to cling onto my father's arm and just sob into his shoulder. However, the pride that still burned inside of me somehow managed to keep me together, and I slowly regained my composure. The urge to cry vanished, and all I felt was a gnawing emptiness in my heart and stomach.

A cloth was draped over the coffin, which rested at the foot of the altar. The priest took something with a string attached, hovering it over the coffin and moving it so that the mvoements traced a crucifix in the air, one that I would not have noticed had I not been paying close attention. Everything seemed so unreal, now. None of this was actually happening.

Right?

Somewhere inside, I knew how wrong I was.

I just did not want to force myself to believe it this soon.

I did not want to.

I did not _care_ to.

* * *

**Brittany**

"I think Lord Tubbington did it. I also think he's the one who spent all of my money on porn..." I stated.

"Brittany..." my mother said, giving me a worried glance.

I hated that glance, but I learned that it was the only look I deserved. Any other would be one of more concern for my well-being, for what I did to myself.

_"You are going to destroy yourself."_

Three years ago, the words meant nothing to me. They spoke of nothing but nonsense. Now, though, they were clear as a summer day. And it killed me a little bit more inside.

Without a word, my mother walked away, tending to the pasta that was cooking on the stove. I contemplated saying something else, speaking of more silliness that my mother would never be able to decode. Instead, I walked up the stairs and into my room, closing the door behind me and locking it. Speaking nonsensical things usually got me out of trouble, but it also got me into trouble at times.

And it hardly ever got me out of being disciplined.

I rolled up my sleeves, inspecting my arms in the mirror and with my own eyes directly. A few lines, not too many. Because then people would notice. Then people would _see_.

But that did not mean they would _care_.


	3. Chapter 1: Free

**Author's Note: Okay, so, here is the first chapter. I am not sure whether or not I should continue this story, though.**

**Santana**

"Santana, you can go. There is not much left to unpack. The beach is only a thirty-minute walk from here, you know."

The words barely reached me through the music blasting from my headphones. Somehow, though, I had managed to catch onto the statement, and walked through the front door briskly, slamming it shut behind me. There was nothing I wanted to do more than get out of the house I would be stuck living in for the next year.

Gently bobbing my head to the music as I walked down the sidewalk, I could not help but take in how beautiful the Californian sky was. I had spent the past six years of my life living in Canada, where the sky was never this clear or the weather so warm. Of course, I was not as thankful for the heat as I first believed myself to be. Even in shorts and a tank-top, I was still unbearably warm, and knew it was just a matter of time that I would be sweating more than I ever had in my lifetime.

That was definitely a downside.

On the other hand, however, the beach would be cooler, and when I finally returned home, I could sit in the air-conditioned room.

If I was going to be forced to live in California because of my dad's transfer, I knew I had to somehow look forward to it. The beaches would be nice. There would be hot guys to look at. It would be something to take my mind off of everything. And I was here for the last month of summer vacation, as well as the following school year.

Perhaps California would be a good break for me.

* * *

**Brittany**

_hree_.

I stood with my feet parallel, shoulders squared, and lips curled upward into a smirk. Dirt was already caked onto my feet from walking around barefoot at the top of the cliff several minutes before I even started preparing myself for the dive. The jump down was not too far, though from an outside perspective it probably looked so. And I knew that an onlooker would scold me for attempting something so potentially dangerous.

In truth, I did not believe it was dangerous. I had been diving off this same cliff since I was thirteen years old-only four years ago. If anyone knew the safety of the cliff, it was me. Of course, I did not find it difficult for someone else to find it unsafe. After all, a few inches off in a dive and there would be impact among the rocks that lined the small 'safe-pool', as I liked to call it.

_Two._

I controlled my breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. It calmed me, made me even readier than before. The smirk still played at my lips as I thought about who would be watching. Would there be someone I knew down there? Would they be waiting for me to jump to see if I passed or failed? What if they congratulated me on my dive?

_One._

The idea of someone praising me made me expecting of something that probably was not going to happen either way. I was careful as to not get my hopes up.

_Zero._

In one swift movement, I brought my arms over my head and pushed myself off the edge of the cliff. Only one thought came to me as I sped through the air and hurtled towards the water. It was not a thought of fear, or death, or anything even minorly depressing or negative. No. Those thoughts did not exist when I was diving.

For the only thought on my mind even as I was about to hit the water was,

_I'm free._

* * *

**Santana**

The music playing became only background noise as I watched the scene before me. Sure, I had seen people cliff-dive in the past, but that had been on television, or when I lived back in Florida. However, the few times I saw someone in Florida cliff-dive, the cliffs were not as large. And the people did not have their eyes closed with a smile playing at their lips.

Still, the sight was breahtaking, and I was somewhat glad I had been able to stumble over a mound of rocks to make it to this side of the beach. I did not doubt that I would have been able to see it on a different side of the beach, but it was different being so close.

The girl emerged from the water and swam toward the shore. Impressed with the action she had taken, I hurriedly made my way over to where she was walking. I waited patiently for the stranger to make it to land, though I soon learned that my presence had not even been acknowleged, for the girl was staring down into the water as she walked.

When she finally looked up, all the girl said was, "Why are you here?"

"Is this private property or something?" I questioned. I had not seen any signs put up anywhere. "If it is, then you guys sure as hell suck at advertising it."

"No, it's just, not many people get this close. The rocks are pretty slippery," she said quickly, a smile finding its way onto her face. "I'm Brittany, it's nice to meet you."

I noted that Brittany was fast to change from being confused to overly happy and cheerful. The sound of her voice was like nails on a chalkboard to my ears. I had never been one for warm introductions to anyone, especially someone I had just met in a place I had never been to before. Normally I kept to myself out of fear that my usually-loud opinion would drive people away.

Yet Brittany stood before me, hand outstretched to shake my own, a big goofy smile planted on her face. I noticed that smile almost instantly, though. The broken, half-hearted smile I used when I did not want anyone to know that something was bothering me. I was accustomed to greeting my family members with that same smile. I had once worn it proudly, and knew when someone else was using it as well.

_I wonder what your baggage is,_ I thought.


End file.
